Why…

I’m thousands of miles away and still…you treat me like that. All I have ever done is try to make it so that you achieve your dream and don’t end up sitting at a table with your head in your hands regretting every choice you’ve ever made. 

Don’t make the stupid mistakes that I have by holding off on what’s important. 

I only wish I had someone to ask me how things were going and if I needed help with anything. I didn’t and sometimes I still don’t. Which is mostly my fault since I don’t want to bother anyone with my own problems. I had to figure it out on my own and held back on a lot because of fear.

I wish you would bite your tongue and hold back on your ignorance and listen for once. Don’t say anything else because at this point everything your saying stings and I’d rather not listen to it anymore. 

Sometimes I just want to stop completely and just give up….

The burdens of being the first born…you’ll never understand and I’ll never waste my time explaining it to you since there is no gain for either of us by going into it. You’ll never grasp what it really means and you’ll never get to know how hard it is to lift that weight alone. You’d never be able to handle it….

I’m done.

myworldspinsround:

I was accepted and it’s actually going to happen. A month and a half from now I am going to be in South Korea attending Yonsei University…I still can’t believe it entirely…almost as if I’m numb to the whole thing. 

It means that I have a LOT of work to do in very little time. 

And a lot of things are going to change….and Honestly it’s all a little too scary to think about..

All the work…All that I dreamed of will stay just that..dreams and be nothing more.

I can blame no one else but myself for putting false hope into myself and those around me. In the end I never had the strength to follow through.

I’m Sorry.

Yonsei Housing for Spring 2012 has been changed…

I was waiting all day yesterday to be able to apply for housing now I must wait 2 more days.

Its okay though. It only means I am this much closer to getting there next year. I can’t wait and I hope everything works out.

ALSO…It looks like I’m going to be getting a lot of help with fundraising for this trip! 

eatlowelling:

I need to kick my own ass.  Why am I not being productive?  I’m just being lazy as hell at this point and at the worst possible time.  I know this and I’m still not doing anything.  If I think about it, it’s because I’m feeling a little downtrodden and maybe overwhelmed.  I just need to force myself and maybe I can get out of this bad mood.

So….

A lot of things have been going on.

-I got my acceptance letter from Yonsei University in Seoul.

-My mom has been really sick.

-I’ve been falling behind in school.

-I can’t stand to be home sometimes.

-I’m slowly getting used to writing a little more.

-My sisters are driving me insane.

-I’m getting a lot closer to my cousin.

-I have a group project due tomorrow.

Let’s see…

-Wednesday is Friday schedule!

-I need to do some fund raising

-I got a C- on an exam I thought I was going to fail.

-I miss working in the after school program with the kids.

-Still trying to get myself to sit and focus on school work.

-I’m in love with The Walking Dead.

-My K-pop consumption has been decreasing :(

-I really want to draw.

This just seems like a huge list of complaints but…I think that it’s just a way to get out all the things that I am feeling and I have to do.

Hopefully I will push through. I just have to take it..

….One step at a time.